(nah)

Rules of Women:

1. All women are alike
2. If you think your woman is different, see Rule 1.
3. Women do not think. They feel.
4. It's only a date if SHE thinks it's a date. She gets to decide after the fact and revise it as often as she likes.
5. Her rules for you do not apply to her.
6. Women count "things". A car is one thing. A trip to Venice is one thing. A rose is one thing. A bouquet of flowers is one thing. a card and a rose is two things.
7. The record of all "things" received is erased every morning when she wakes up.
8. All bad things are added to the shit pile. Shit piles are a non-decreasing function of things you did, things she suspects you did, and things she feels you will do. Even if you provide an ironclad alibi, DNA evidence, security camera footage, and 50 notarized affidavits from eyewitnesses that you were not guilty of said bad thing, it remains on the shit pile...forever.
9. Standing a woman up is an unpardonable sin. Standing you up is her justifiable self-protection.
10. It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind, at will, any time, no matter how long she's had it and even if she's lost the receipt.
11. Read Rule 1 again, because you forgot it already.